Location, location
by tiddarifka
Summary: Competition entry , choose 5 locations and a theme, kakairu, man/man don't like don't read.


Location, location, location

Location, location, location.

This is comp entry, themes were 5 locations and Kidnapping. Kakairu, therefore a storyline with man/man love.

What is the appropriate ninja way to celebrate an intimate anniversary between lovers? Kidnapping each other for a 'dirty' holiday of course.

1.Koi pond.

Iruka fumed. This really was the limit!! Yes, he had said A LITTLE role play would be a nice change and yes, there was a 3 day holiday coming up that fell on the anniversary of their first night of full passion. But damnit this was not he had meant!!

Iruka had fallen asleep in his nice cozy bed with his lovely, cuddly, snuggly boyfriend only to wake in the morning on a sunny rock in a large ornamental koi pond. Courtesy he was sure of his soon to be maimed lover Kakashi.

Not only that he was stark naked, apart from an elaborate mermaids tail binding his legs and for some reason, large strawberry shaped candies glued to his nipples.

He signed, at least it was a very warm summer morning and the rock was nice, sunny, with just enough dappled shade to keep him comfortable.

Now if only he could get the dratted tail off but it was vacuum sealed or something and refused to budge. Iruka rolled to his side, rested his head on his arms and gazed at the red, gold Koi fish in the water around him. He smiled and started plotting Kakashi's demise in great detail.

He was almost asleep when with a poof of smoke his soon to be savoir appeared. Kakashi had chosen to wear traditional brown fishing robes, a straw hat and carried a bamboo fishing pole with a picnic basket in the crook of his arm.

Quick as a flash, the fish hook was in the back of the tail and Iruka suddenly found himself flailing around in the water while Kakashi stood on the rock reeling him in.

Iruka took a deep breath and sank about metre into the pond, found the base of the rock and braced himself with his hands before cleverly wrapping the fishing line around the end of his tail. Then with a sudden jerk, pulled the manically giggling fisherman in.

They both surfaced at the same time and smirked at each other. "Lunch Iruka", said Kakashi. "Lunch" said Iruka. They dragged themselves back on to the rock and Kakashi stripped to his underwear before unpacking the basket. After a lot of sake, sweet rice and some nibbling of Iruka's strawberry candies. Kakashi broke the seal on the tail proceeded to show Iruka all the interesting little holes that would open for warm hands, probing fingers and bottles of sweet condiments. The result being that the koi were frightened to the far reaches of the pond, birds took flight at the screams of pleasure and the guards patrolling the area turned red, ignoring the sudden tightness of their pants as they walked briskly past the general area.

2. the OR

Kakashi was use to waking up in the hospital. Be ninja for very long and it will happen with great frequency. What he wasn't use to, was it being the OR rather than the ward, with a smiling Iruka in surgical gear instead of a scowling Tusande.

The circular plaster cutting saw Iruka was revving, was also out of his experience. Trying to move he found himself strapped to the table in full ABNU uniform but with out weapons.

OK, now he was nervous. Iruka put down the saw on an instrument table, then looked him in the eye, smiled and turned around to get a large bottle.

The entire back of the surgical garment was missing; alright there were a few string bits to hold it in place. Otherwise the view was unrestricted. Kakashi felt the man in him rise and stand to attention as Iruka deliberately bent over to improve the view. He felt like whimpering.

Iruka stood up turned around and placed the bottle (big red strawberries on the label) on the table. He then smiled again said "oh dear how can I treat you with all that armor on?" Then revved up the saw again and proceeded to delicately cut off every piece of armor and clothing. Kakashi stared at him, getting more and more worked up with the dangerously sharp blade causing vibrations as it cut. Iruka's tongue tip sticking out as he worked through a tricky bit…..sooooo sexy.

"OH KAMI"! That was right over his Groin. Silence reigned as the blade was shut off and cool air flowed across Kakashi's body. "All done, now I have to check you vitals and examine you for wounds" Iruka glanced over the instruments before picking one and moving to the patient's side.

Kakashi signed as warm fingers checked him over before, starting up as something ice cold was pressed against his jewel sack. Iruka laughed and dangled the stereoscope in front of him. "At least I'm going to warm up the anal thermometer".

That's when Kakashi couldn't take it any more, broke free of the table and pinned a laughing Iruka against to the wall. "Good thing I got an extra large bottle for you as present" he chirped between kisses.

They did clean up after themselves eventually but that OR became the least desirable to work in due the overpowering scent of strawberries left behind.

3. Interrogation Chambers

Contrary to popular belief the interrogation chambers of Hidden leaf did not contain torture equipment of any kind except for a few wall chains and chairs with restraints. Ibiki master of his craft as he was, needed no other props to support him. So Kakashi was severely disappointed when he tried to arrange the next anniversary present for Iruka. Ibiki looked at him for a moment then handed him a business card "These people will probably have what you think you need" he stated then threw Kakashi out with a contemptuous "BOYFRIENDS".

The people on the card did indeed have everything he wanted, including a luxurious room to set up and CCTV cameras to boot. Kakashi had a field day setting up, hell he even color theme everything. Iruka on the other hand was less than impressed when he saw the setup. OK, the four-poster bed with fur lined chains and coverlets, that was good. The prissy little chairs with no actual seats were unusual but interesting. The tables with various sex toys, foods etc were positively delightful. He could even cope with Kakashi in full dominatrix regalia. But the whole thing was pink, bright sugary pink for fairy floss. Iruka felt sick to his stomach and bolted for the door. Then the whole of Hidden Leaf was treated to the sight of Iruka running across the rooftops in a pink negligee followed by Kakashi in dominatrix leather and high heels. Yelling at the top of his lungs "But it's my turn to kidnap you for the weekend". Most people wisely ignored it.

4. The Tower

Iruka signed how did he get into these fixes. It had been a normal A rank escort and decoy mission.

He and Anko were Disguised as a couple of court ladies in a diplomatic party, during which he had been a little too pleasant to one of the diplomats, who in turn proved to be a traitor, which turned to whole thing into a mess.

After an attack, a few explosions and some very subtle poison gas, Iruka found himself slung over a horse saddle unable to move, galloping god knows where with the traitor at the reins.

Ending up in this tower room, where said traitor, in the act of stripping him for sex found that he was in fact male. Strangely this did not put his molester off; in fact he had seemed almost relieved to uncover a male body. If the perimeter alarms hadn't gone off at that very moment Iruka would have had a very unwanted experience indeed.

So he lay half undressed on the lavish bed, wriggling his fingers and toes to help his body recover from the poison, and admired the décor. It was really very nice, A nice big bed in dark earthy colors, pleasant landscapes on the walls and a night sky mural on the ceiling.

There were also numerous furniture pieces designed for sexual use, many of them historical. (The only reason Iruka knew about them was because Kakashi actually had a book on the subject, it was interesting if embarrassing reading). Actually, over all, this was a very pleasant room, much better than that pink abomination Kakashi had come up with last anniversary.

Although Iruka did feel a little guilty about that, Kakashi had worked very hard on it. It was just too pink. A couple of loud explosions shook the walls.

"Oh "! Thought Iruka "My hero is here", and wriggled a little harder to speed things up a bit. He'd just managed to sit up and get to the edge of the bed, when with a bump and a bang Kakashi made his entrance.

Traitor in one hand, knife in the other, a splash of blood over his face and neck. Iruka smiled" All done?"

Kakashi let out a sigh of relief and threw the traitor back out the door with an "I found him, the bastard wasn't lying". Before checking Iruka over.

"How long do we have?"

"Plenty of time, most of the security in this place was automated and the guards have not been paid for a while, so their no trouble."

"Well, while we are waiting for this poison to clear a bit more can I ask you to look at this room?" said Iruka. " Next time you want to do something like last anniversary can you do it more like this?"

Kakashi handed Iruka an antidote and looked about. "But this is exactly the same sort of thing you ran away from".

"No I ran away from all that ghastly pink, your idea was actually quite attractive."

"You know there are costumes over there and we have plenty of time" purred Kakashi.

"NO', said Iruka "We have a mission to finish".

"But Ruka There's leather, latex and rubber outfits, come on I've got some baby powder and there's got to be lube in here somewhere" moaned Kakashi.

"No!" Shouted Iruka "We still have 3 diplomats and a journey of two days to court".

"Actually that's 1 diplomat, 1 traitor and 2 corpses. Plus the journey will now only take one day because all the fancy stuff has been destroyed."

The poison was now gone and Iruka could move well enough to redress himself and walk stiffly to the door.

"Kakashi why is this door locked?"

"Not me I didn't do it" He said as he joined Iruka.

"Actually my eternal rival it was me" came through the door "I accidentally leaned against the door to rest a moment and it locked. Alas and alack the lock appears to be jammed up with the rest of that security system and cannot be open from this side."

"We shall have to leave you and your lover in there while we whist the honored clients to safety, I'm sure we can get you out on our return, Goodbye my friends I shall return with all speed tomorrow."

"Gai don't you dare" Yelled Iruka! But the green beast had already retreated down the stairs. Iruka turned around to speak to Kakashi, but he had disappeared into one of the large cupboards tossing costumes out as he went.

Iruka signed again how did he get himself into these messes. He then went and lay on the bed half undressed again.

5. The Flower bed.

It had been a difficult year since the last anniversary. Due to an unpopular decision from the Fire Lord and the sudden natural death of the head of an important clan leaving a small power vacuum, things had become very tricky.

There was no clear heir for the clan so there was a lot of political movement there.

Other lord's sort to overturn the Fire Lords decision through unrest.

Still others tried to further their own power in the confusion, which ended in the successful assignation of another clan leader.

Then everyone, including the Fire Lord started protecting their own interests which meant all ninja were never out of work for quite a few months indeed.

If fact, they were overworked and by the time things settled down again Kakashi had been poison twice, stabbed three times, chased by armed guards more times in a single week then in his whole life and buried alive with his lady client once.

This it turned out, was by the arrangement of a minor lord who wanted his daughter to marry a deadly ninja and so safeguard the clan.

It didn't work.

Kakashi brought the girl back to hidden leaf and she gladly took up a civilian job in a daycare centre instead. The father, his plans made public, was in disgrace at court and had been ordered to do nothing.

In the mean time Kakashi was a wreck. He jumped at small sounds, refused food not prepared himself and nearly knifed several people because they walked up behind him and breathed loudly.

He needed a complete and total rest for at least a week, just to sleep. He ended up taking it in hospital because he started hallucinate Ibiki was a walking rice ball and tried to eat him.

The result was that Iruka got permission to take him on retreat to one of the larger forest shelters to recuperate.

Thus Kakashi went to sleep in Hidden Leaf hospital and woke up in a small secluded hut in the forest. Not only that but the futon he was lying on was covered in sweet smelling flowers and herbs.

Iruka was watching him from beside the fire pit, where he was making a simple meal. "Just relaxed Kashi your safe and I'm going to take care of you" He smiled. He then served a simple stew with bread onto a tray and brought it to Kakashi, who managed to sit up and eat it himself, before falling asleep again.

The next couple of days was spent quietly resting, eating and talking.

Then Kakashi woke up again to another flower bed, this time Iruka beside him gently running a finger across his chest. Kakashi smiled and reached up for a kiss which was eagerly returned followed by more kisses and gentle caresses.

Slow disrobing was next, with teeth; tongues and fingers, a gentle dance of cherish caresses and soft, loving words. Iruka then gently, oh so gently, slipped inside Kakashi and pushed all the right buttons for a simple climax that left him soft and cuddly for the next hour.

"Iruka" Kakashi asked sleepily, "Is it our anniversary again?"

"Kakashi, would I risk kidnapping you, even under orders, if it wasn't" laughed Iruka.


End file.
